Saturday, 15 April 2000

Cats That Poop in my Garden

Garfield is funny. He talks, eats lasagne and beats up dogs, but never poops in anybody's garden. Therefore you have to assume that Jim Davies, his creator, doesn't think pooping in gardens isn't funny. It isn't - especially when it's my garden!!The woman who lives next door to me - let's call her Alison (after all, that's her actual name) has twelve cats. I'll run that past you again - she has twelve cats. Two 'Felix' cats, two tabbys, two greys, a big fat black and white one, a big fat ginger one (Garfield or Geri..?), a white one, and three black ones.

Now technically, on the whole, they're very nice cats (except one of the grey ones who has a scraggy ear and a white eye), but they all poop, and they all choose my garden to do it in. And now it stinks like a French cat's camp-site toilet, even on the breeziest day!!

It's An Outrage!!

I've tried everything to discourage them, like rattling a tin can of pebbles at them, throwing balls/stones/coins at them, spraying them with water ( my brother persuaded me to buy a Super-Soaker for this job, and it does the trick!!), even chucking the poop back into their own garden, but nothing really works. I don't want a pet of my own to keep them away, and I don't want to turn into 'deranged man sitting by the window with an air rifle all day every day', although it's getting pretty close to that.

I've resorted to trying to make my garden cat-entry proof, but with limited success so far. I think I ought to be able to shoot or poison them with no legal consequences. After all, they're just roaming around - a bit like vermin you could say...

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