Earlier this year, a teen duo called Daphne & Celeste had a top ten hit with a song called "Ooh Stick You". It made me want to shoot them. It was such an Outrage on so many levels that I almost don't know where to start. It was set to an infuriating plinky-plonky 'tune' that made Stock, Aitken & Waterman look like musical geniuses. Even worse, it stuck in your head once you'd heard it, like a bad smell you just can't scrape off your shoe. It had godawful lyrics that were nothing more than a string of Infant School playground insults shoe-horned together so that they almost rhymed (for the full horror, click here).
The idea behind it seems to be that they are slagging off anyone who doesn't conform to their idea of attractiveness. Ironically, Celeste is no oil painting and could do with losing a few pounds herself; Daphne just looks a little too polished to have never met a surgeon's knife, if you catch my drift. Oh yeah, and neither one of them could mime or dance in time to their backing tracks!!
When I first saw and heard them on MTV, I assumed the girls were about 13; I now know that they're 20. They really ought to start acting their age and stop inflicting this sort of nonsense on us. Before S-Club 7 beat the tar out of them...
(Do you know they've got another one out now? Click here for that little gem!)
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