Bad Drivers & Bad Pedestrians

I'm surprised it's taken me this long to post an entry on this subject, given that I drive about 70 miles a day, but my feelings of outrage at these particular types of people have only just formed and clarified over the last few weeks.

I wouldn't be as arrogant or foolish enough to say "I'm a better driver than most everybody else", although I did pass my Advanced Driving test at the first attempt a few years ago. Then again, I've been driving 12 years and had 3 accidents, so maybe that balances things up?

Anyway, I see a lot of gimps on the road who clearly shouldn't be in charge of a teapot, never mind tonnes of steel and glass and highly combustible fuel.

My particular hates are as follows, in no particular order and with no particular reason either;

DRIVERS WHO;

• use front and/or rear fog lights in the rain/day/1000 yard visibility (they're called FOG lights for a fecking reason!)
  

• hog the middle lane on the motorway because there's a lorry in the inside lane 3 miles up ahead (the tarmac on the inside lane is just as good quality as the other two, and did you ever learn an overtaking maneuver?)
  
• and following from that, don't pull in from the middle of the lane when I want to overtake
  
• don't indicate on roundabouts
  
• don't indicate EVER
  
• in 10,000 space car parks have to get the first one they come across, even if it's less than two feet from the entrance and it means holding everyone else up whilst they back into it seven or eight times
  
• pull out in front of me from a side road with a screech of tyres, then drive ten miles an hour slower than me, only to turn left 10 yards down the road
  
• park badly, so the space next to/in front of/behind them is just too small for me to get in
  
• sit so close to the wheel they can't possibly steer properly
  
• could slow down slightly to let me turn across the flow of traffic, but just don't
  
• could slow down slightly to let me turn into the flow of traffic, but just don't

PEDESTRIANS WHO;

• try to cross the road within sight of a zebra crossing
  

• can't make their minds up whether they're going to cross or not, and bob on and off the kerb
  
• walk behind me in car parks, through the space I'm reversing into
  
• press the button on pelican crossings, then nip across the road, leaving the lights to turn red and hold up the traffic with no-one waiting to cross

So, basically what I'm saying is that everybody should get out of my way or better still stay at home and leave the roads to me. After all, I'm a better driver than the rest of you...

By the way - I'm driving the white Rover with the blood stains on it.