Bonkers Conkers

I reported some time ago about schools banning the game of Musical Chairs for being too violent. (go here for that Outrage!)

Well, I can proudly tell you that that has now been beaten hands down for stupidity.

Keele University has undertaken a study of Primary Schools in Britain which shows that some have banned the age-old game of Conkers for fear of being sued by the parents of injured children.

Furthermore, some schools have banned playground football for it's anti-social tendencies (like teamwork, cooperation and organisation, not to mention exercise, coordination and dexterity...), and one was even reported as having outlawed skipping after, and I quote, "some girls fell down".

It's An Outrage!!

Conkers and skipping are games that every child should have the opportunity to play. Conkers is like golf, in that it evens the playing field - all you need is a good conker and you're a winner - even if you're small and weedy and have asthma. It pays no heed to the size of player - it's all about your skill, and how hard your conker is (oo-er!).

Also, I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but our national football team is completely pants - though I'm sure stopping kids playing it at school is just how France, Italy and Brazil go about nurturing their talent. The FA must be so proud...

And as for banning skipping because "some girls fell down" - isn't that what childhood is all about? Falling down, getting scrapes, grazes and bruises?? Perhaps we should make all skipping surfaces out of feathers in future, or insist on some sort of protective padding for the skippers.

Or perhaps we could all just get a grip. Don't schools have better things to do than this - like teach children stuff? Sums, writing, joined up speaking - that sort of thing.

Or are we supposed to find it reassuring that whilst our future generations will grow up illiterate, enumerate, lacking in social skills, fat, lazy and introverted, at least their knees will never have known the cruel sting of cold Germolene or the harsh tear of Elastoplast??

Somehow, that just doesn't do it for me...