Hypocritical Manufactured Pop Band

Manufactured pop band GirlsAtPlay are just about to clog up the bottom of the charts with a remix of the classic 80's song by Mel & Kim, Respectable.

Now some of my favourite pop bands have been well and truly manufactured, but by that I mean pulled together from a large crowd and honed into a unit (Take That springs to mind).

But when I say 'manufactured' in relation to GirlsAtPlay I mean so totally fake that Trading Standards ought to be locking them up.

If you are unlucky enough to stumble across their website, you'll find that the group is made up of the following highly unlikely mix;

• Lisa-Jay, an incredibly successful business woman who owns the biggest and hippest club in London - Fallulabub's (try this on a search engine, there's only one entry...)
  

• Rita, the owner of an all-women chain of garages (there must be a Kwik-Fit pun in there somewhere; answers via emailplease!)
  
• Lynsey, an NYPD motorcycle officer who won a Medal Of Honour for "an act of heroism above and beyond the call of duty" (going out without make-up on perhaps?)
  
• Shelley, an Air Force One Pilot who flies the President around whenever he needs her
  
• Vicky, a cow girl who was left a ranch by her 18 year old Native American cowgirl penpal who died of an unspecified cause (handy, that)

Hmmm....

Some of the text on there is just so laughable you'd swear it was straight out of Monty Python or The Fast Show ("I bumped into the Prez at a club in Ibiza when he was in drag, and asked if he needed a pilot" - I'd have been asking for about $50million in used notes and a City named after me!!)

(I've emailed Lynsey and Shelley to check what exactly they've been doing to help in the wake of the terrible World Trade Centre attacks, but so far no answer.)

So that's bad enough, but what makes it worse is the song they've chosen

It's An Outrage!!

How can a bunch of Spice Girl wannabees possibly have the nerve to take on this tune?

Firstly they murder it. Secondly, and more importantly, hasn't anyone pointed out to them the irony of the lyrics?

They'll always be respectable, because every word they say is scripted, everything they do is planned, they are mindless drones controlled by people with both eyes on the bottom line.

What are the chances of any one of them dropping in a swear word into a kids TV interview? Or being photographed buying large bottles of gin from the local offie? Or being caught by police in a drug-fueled sex orgy?

Fairly slim I'd say... and more's the pity; it might make them slightly interesting and give them about another week in the spotlight than they're going to have.