Police Protect Criminals

A crimebuster who made a video of crack dealers operating outside his home has been banned from filming by the police, and warned he is breaching civil liberties.

Darren Gibbet bought a £250 video camera soon after the people moved into the flat opposite his and started dealing crack. Despite numerous complaints to the police, they failed to deal with the problem.

On one occasion as he filmed, one of the dealers entered Darren's property, assaulted him and tried to smash the camera against a wall. The police were called, but when they arrived Darren was told that he was breaching their civil liberties, and that the man was entitled to retrieve the film. In addition, if he persisted in filming he would face arrest and prosecution.

It's An Outrage!!

How many times do we hear the police extolling the virtues of neighborhood watches, or bemoaning the fact that they can't get ordinary citizens to stand up against and help prosecute criminals?

But when somebody actually has the courage to do exactly what they're asking, they plump to protect the criminals!!

Darren Gibbet should be given a medal, and control of London's CCTV system; the man's a hero, not a villain.

Hypocritical Manufactured Pop Band

Manufactured pop band GirlsAtPlay are just about to clog up the bottom of the charts with a remix of the classic 80's song by Mel & Kim, Respectable.

Now some of my favourite pop bands have been well and truly manufactured, but by that I mean pulled together from a large crowd and honed into a unit (Take That springs to mind).

But when I say 'manufactured' in relation to GirlsAtPlay I mean so totally fake that Trading Standards ought to be locking them up.

If you are unlucky enough to stumble across their website, you'll find that the group is made up of the following highly unlikely mix;

• Lisa-Jay, an incredibly successful business woman who owns the biggest and hippest club in London - Fallulabub's (try this on a search engine, there's only one entry...)
  

• Rita, the owner of an all-women chain of garages (there must be a Kwik-Fit pun in there somewhere; answers via emailplease!)
  
• Lynsey, an NYPD motorcycle officer who won a Medal Of Honour for "an act of heroism above and beyond the call of duty" (going out without make-up on perhaps?)
  
• Shelley, an Air Force One Pilot who flies the President around whenever he needs her
  
• Vicky, a cow girl who was left a ranch by her 18 year old Native American cowgirl penpal who died of an unspecified cause (handy, that)

Hmmm....

Some of the text on there is just so laughable you'd swear it was straight out of Monty Python or The Fast Show ("I bumped into the Prez at a club in Ibiza when he was in drag, and asked if he needed a pilot" - I'd have been asking for about $50million in used notes and a City named after me!!)

(I've emailed Lynsey and Shelley to check what exactly they've been doing to help in the wake of the terrible World Trade Centre attacks, but so far no answer.)

So that's bad enough, but what makes it worse is the song they've chosen

It's An Outrage!!

How can a bunch of Spice Girl wannabees possibly have the nerve to take on this tune?

Firstly they murder it. Secondly, and more importantly, hasn't anyone pointed out to them the irony of the lyrics?

They'll always be respectable, because every word they say is scripted, everything they do is planned, they are mindless drones controlled by people with both eyes on the bottom line.

What are the chances of any one of them dropping in a swear word into a kids TV interview? Or being photographed buying large bottles of gin from the local offie? Or being caught by police in a drug-fueled sex orgy?

Fairly slim I'd say... and more's the pity; it might make them slightly interesting and give them about another week in the spotlight than they're going to have.

Stupid Pepsi Cinema Advert

There's a really stupid advert at my local cinema which has been running for the last few months, advertising Pepsi.

It shows two improbably good looking college guys in a loft apartment messing with all sorts of computers, lasers and high tech gadgets.

They are seemingly able to 'pixelise' themselves, that is, change their solid bodies into computer hologram thingies.

They discover this 'cool' ability by sweeping their arms through columns inside their building, then decide to go on a full road test of their new found talent.

This includes;

• jumping through the floor to the apartment below (landing on the bed of a beautiful woman),
  

• jumping out of the wall of the building into a car full of gangsters,
  
• jumping out of there into the road,
  
• having another car (and it's driver) drive right through them,
  
• pushing their heads through the wall of a lingerie store,
  
• rushing through two bouncers into a nightclub,

before finally making their weary way home.

However, to their utter dismay, when they get there they find they can't pick up the cans of Pepsi they left before embarking on their strange and wonderful journey.

It's An Outrage!!

I almost don't know where to start with pulling this ad to pieces, but I'll try!

• how is it that they can jump through their own floor but are stopped by a bed, instead of plummeting to the earth's core (and possibly straight through to the other side of the planet)??

• as above, but the road also stops them after they leap off the bed and through a wall

• as above, but how come they have the ability to stand up at all, anywhere??

• they go straight from broad daylight into a heaving nightclub, then straight back out into broad daylight

• when they get back, even if they could pick up and try to drink the Pepsi, wouldn't they just be pouring it on the floor?

• as above but with food? Wouldn't they starve to death?

Add to this that their biggest disappointment is not the possibility of any of the above happening at any given time, but the fact that they can't drink on over-sweet, tooth rotting, carbonated blend of vegetable extracts, and I find it hard to be 'sold to' by this particular advert.

But nice try - certainly better than the Spice Girls in Pepsi dresses...