Kip Kinkel - Child Killer

Kip Kinkel was a 'normal' teenager from a loving and successful family in Oregon.

He lived with his parents and his sister on the edge of a forest in a large log cabin named 'Shambala' and attended school at Thurston High.

His parent's were completely against violence of any sort, and actively brought their children up in this belief. Kip's father taught him gunmanship with the intention of instilling a healthy respect for firearms.

Unfortunately, Kip's brain was wired incorrectly. Instead of shunning violence, as his parents had intended, he became fascinated by it.

He bought, stole and acquired a large arsenal of knives, guns and ammunition; this in the same year his parents became increasingly concerned over his behaviour and had him prescribed the anti-depressants Prozac and Ritalin, and were sending him to Anger Management Counselling sessions.

A small sample of Kip's behaviour in that year goes like this;

• Kip told his friend, Destry Saul, that he "...wanted to put a bomb under the bleachers at a pep rally and block the doorway so students couldn't get out...". He was a joker and a boaster, so Destry didn't take him seriously.

• Destry dismissed the next threat, too. "If I ever get really mad, I'd go and hit the cafeteria with my .22 (rifle)," Kip was said to have told him. "I have lots more rounds for my .22 than my 9 (mm pistol) and I'll save one for myself." "Sure," Destry said. "Whatever."

• Destry also said after the event, "He wanted to go into the Army so he'd know what it was like to kill somebody. But I never thought he'd do something like this."

• Neither did another friend, Mike Joseph, though he was worried that Kip seemed angry a lot. One day he asked Kip why he was poring over a knife catalog. He replied, "When I snap, I want the firepower to kill people."

• Kip was caught making pipe bombs and setting off firecrackers in cats' mouths. Not to worry, everyone said, probably just a phase.

• He boasted about his butterfly knife; about wanting to get a hook knife, held easily in the fist"...so you can punch and gouge your enemy at the same time."

• On Jan. 4, 1997, local police charged him with throwing rocks at cars from an overpass.

• In a literature class a School, when it was Kinkel's turn to share from his journal, he routinely stood in the front of the room and read about his plans to "kill everybody."

• Students recounted how, in the same semester, Kinkel delivered a well-organized, authoritative talk on how to make a bomb. He illustrated it with a detailed picture he had drawn of an explosive connected to a clock.

• Others recalled regularly seeing Kinkel and a friend walking along rural Deerhorn Road toting a 20-gauge sawed-off shotgun and a .22 rifle, shooting at birds and ground animals.

• In his middle school yearbook, Kinkel's classmates voted him "Most likely to start World War III."

• On his Internet service account, Kinkel described his hobbies as "Role-playing games, heavy metal music, violent cartoons/TV, sugared cereal, throwing rocks at cars and EC (horror) Comics." For an occupation, he wrote: "Student, surfing the Web for info on how to build bombs."

After being suspended from school for stealing his father's old military service pistol and hiding it in his locker, Kip murdered his parents. He then came back to school the next day armed with knives, a .22 rifle, sawed-off shotgun, 9mm pistol and explosive devices, walked into the canteen and let loose with 51 bullets. He shot and killed 2 of his fellow students, and injured 25 more before being wrestled to the floor.

Kip is now serving 111 (that's one hundred and eleven) years for murder.

So you see, you can apply all the zero tolerance rules and anger management classes and chemicals you like, but as long as there are crazy madmen who want to kill people and guns readily available, they'll have no effect at all.

Farmer Jailed for Shooting Burglar

Picture the scene; you live on your own on a remote farmhouse, your home has been burgled on a number of occasions, and you are so scared of it happening again that you are driven to sit awake every night clutching a shotgun.

This is what happened to farmer Tony Martin, who had suffered more than 10 intrusions at the hands of criminals. So when the next two thieves broke in, 16-year-old Fred Barras and 30-year-old Brendan Fearon, he shot them both. Barras was killed and Fearon was injured.

Mr Martin has now been jailed for life for murder.

It's An Outrage!!

This man should be given a medal and made a National Hero for defending his property and standing up to the criminals who had plagued him.

If more thieves believed they ran the risk of being shot if they broke into somebody else's house, the crime rate would plummet.

The prosecution's main thrusts were that Mr Martin had publicly stated that he would kill anyone he caught breaking into his house, and that he lay in wait and shot them like 'rats in a trap'.

In my opinion, by publicly stating his intentions, Mr Martin had given fair warning to anyone stupid enough to try and steal from him again. And as for rats in a trap - what better description than vermin could be applied to these burglars?

Both intruders had records as long as the proverbial arm, had both served time in prison, and Fred Barras was actually on bail at the time he was killed. I remind you that he was only 16, but was also well on his way to being a career criminal - his record stretched to 29 convictions, including assault, six for fraud and seven for theft.

By shooting him, Mr Martin has removed from the community a dangerous, worthless piece of riffraff who would play no valuable role in society. His only regret should be that he missed the other one. (A silver lining is that he was shot in the groin, so hopefully he won't be able to pass on any of his repugnant DNA).

Suspended for Playing Cops and Robbers

America has a new weapon against it's rising gun crime problem - Zero Tolerance in schools. Now you'd think this was a good idea, cracking down on gun carrying students, gang-bangers and the like, metal detectors in doorways, armed guards, etc.

But that's not quite what they mean everywhere.

At Wilson School, Sayreville, New Jersey, there is a ban on playground violence of any sort. Again, this sounds like a good idea but the school seems to have been a little too zealous in policing this policy, because four infants have been suspended for playing cops and robbers.

I'll say that again; four infants have been suspended for playing cops and robbers. Yes, really.

The children in the kindergarten class were given three-day suspensions for making pretend guns with their fingers - which were interpreted by the school as 'unacceptable threats'.

The children's plans to 'shoot' each other in the game were reported by other pupils, and the school's head teacher, following the local authority's guidelines, suspended those involved.

School district superintendent William L Bauer said "This is a no tolerance policy. We're very firm on weapons and threats. Given the climate of our society, we cannot take any of these statements in a light manner."

It's An Outrage!!

How can children's games be blamed for a culture which has grown up over hundreds of years and is based on the Constitutional Right to bear arms?!

I don't think they can see the wood for the trees here. You can ban everything you want, but as long as you can walk into a Woolworth's and pick up anything from a pistol to a semi-automatic rifle, gun crime and killings are still going to happen.

(Don't believe me? Ask me about Kip Kinkel...)

In the wake of a series of school shootings in the US, there have been large-scale anti-violence programmes in cities including New York teaching skills such as conflict resolution and anger management. In Illinois, schools have attempted psychological profiling of pupils, in an attempt to identify individuals who might have a propensity to violence.

HELLO!? You're missing the point!!! I'll lay it out for you again - people can only shoot guns if guns are available.

Let's compare to Britain for a moment - every child I have ever know (myself included) has made 'gun fingers' but our gun crime rate is almost non-existent compared with the US. The only difference is the availability of weaponry, and you'd have to be either a complete fool or a gun manufacturer to say otherwise.

America was built on and by guns. Until you remove them from society, the problem will remain. But for all their political bluster, no-one has the balls to push for this.

My advice? Until you stop shooting blanks and address the real cause, shut up!!

Bus Shelters & Phone Boxes

Bus shelters and phone boxes. Lots of them all over, provided at a cost to the supplier, all there for the public good. In Nottingham both BT and the local bus company seem to have joined forces to try out a new material on several of these constructions - Pilkington EE-ZEE Collapse Glass. I assume this is the case, as there are several of them that I pass each day that regularly have the glass missing from them.

It looks very pretty on the floor, like a shower of large ice chippings, or some sort of mini-glacier, but it somewhat less effective when arranged like this rather than in the traditional manner of one big piece per side.

I rang and asked why the interest in making this sort of glass, and apparently it's not designed like that - people just keep breaking it!!

I don't know what it is about the glass that makes it so attractive to mindless vandals, but it works a treat. There are three particular places - one on my street, and two on my way to work - that are smashed at least once a week.

It's An Outrage!!

I suggest that in order to stop this problem, one of the two following solutions are applied;

1. instead of making the glass safe, and engineering it to crumble into tiny, blunt little bits, try making it so that it shatters into large, jagged points with razor sharp edges; the kind that cause deep gashing wounds that bleed profusely. Perhaps also some very small pointy shards, the type likely to fly into eyes and other exposed soft tissues and would be almost impossible to pick out. As long as there are signs on the glass that say "WARNING: Likely to sever femoral artery if smashed", I don't see what the problem is. Surely only a fool would then try and put his foot through one?

2. take them away for good. If these morons can't keep their malicious little hands to themselves, let them stand out in the rain when waiting for a bus, or use their own phone line if they want to buy some drugs. Perhaps then they'll also learn what inside toilets are for. And if they need a telephone in a life or death emergency (for instance, bleeding to death from a severed femoral artery...) but can't find one because it's been taken away - well, who's going to miss one more fool...?

Cats That Poop in my Garden

Garfield is funny. He talks, eats lasagne and beats up dogs, but never poops in anybody's garden. Therefore you have to assume that Jim Davies, his creator, doesn't think pooping in gardens isn't funny. It isn't - especially when it's my garden!!The woman who lives next door to me - let's call her Alison (after all, that's her actual name) has twelve cats. I'll run that past you again - she has twelve cats. Two 'Felix' cats, two tabbys, two greys, a big fat black and white one, a big fat ginger one (Garfield or Geri..?), a white one, and three black ones.

Now technically, on the whole, they're very nice cats (except one of the grey ones who has a scraggy ear and a white eye), but they all poop, and they all choose my garden to do it in. And now it stinks like a French cat's camp-site toilet, even on the breeziest day!!

It's An Outrage!!

I've tried everything to discourage them, like rattling a tin can of pebbles at them, throwing balls/stones/coins at them, spraying them with water ( my brother persuaded me to buy a Super-Soaker for this job, and it does the trick!!), even chucking the poop back into their own garden, but nothing really works. I don't want a pet of my own to keep them away, and I don't want to turn into 'deranged man sitting by the window with an air rifle all day every day', although it's getting pretty close to that.

I've resorted to trying to make my garden cat-entry proof, but with limited success so far. I think I ought to be able to shoot or poison them with no legal consequences. After all, they're just roaming around - a bit like vermin you could say...

G-String Panty Liners

This one needs no explanation!! Any woman who's having a period shouldn't even THINK about wearing a G-String!!!! Even my girlfriend agrees with me on this one! And to beam the adverts right into my living room? No, no, no, no, no!! There's just no need!

Ooh Stick You Lyrics

Ooh stick you / Your mama too / And your daddy

Ooh stick you / Your mama too / And your daddy

Ooh stick you / Your mama too / And your daddy

Ooh stick you / Your mama too / And your daddy

Ooh stick you / Your mama too / And your daddy

Ooh stick you/ Ooh stick you!

Your mama, your daddy / Your greasy, greasy grandmammy

You got a hole in your panty

Got a big behind like Frankenstein

Going beep-beep-beep down Sesame Street

Toot-toot-toot wear army boots

In your ear with a can of beer

Up your butt with a coconut

OOOHHHH!

Ooh stick you / Your mama too / And your daddy

Ooh stick you / Your mama too / And your daddy

Ooh stick you / Your mama too / And your daddy

Ooh stick you / Ooh stick you!

You go girl!

Eeeehhhhhhh! / Oooooohhhhh! / Aye!

Do you want me to tell you what I really think about you?

You got facial hair like a polar bear

You blow up like a toad and then explode

Your face looks mean like Halloween

You got big red eyes like cherry pies

You got the IQ of a digeridoo

You look insane and got no brain

You got a big fat belly like a bowl full of jelly

Your fat mum Milly looks like Free Willy

Ooh stick you / Your mama too / And your daddy

Ooh stick you / Your mama too / And your daddy

Ooh stick you / Your mama too / And your daddy

Ooh stick you / Ooh stick you!

You go girl!

Ride 'em cowboy! / Yee-ha! / Giddy up horsey! / Ride 'em cowboy!

Pugh! Pugh! Pugh! / It's like a horror movie isn't it?

Oohh! / Ride 'em cowboy! / Ooh Ooh Eee! / Ride 'em cowboy!

Do you wanna know what / I really think about you?

You're a little kid that looks like a squid- oh no!

You've got a bad perm like a can of worms- oh no!

Cheeks like a balloon ; face like a baboon- oh no!

Everybody knows you eat the nails from your toes & you rub 'em in dirt and eat them for dessert!

Whatever!

Ooh stick you / Your mama too / And your daddy

Ooh stick you / Your mama too / And your daddy

Ooh stick you / Your mama too / And your daddy

Ooh stick you / Ooh stick you!

You got ears on your face like Spock in space!

You got teeth in your head like Mr Ed!

Everybody knows you put fleas in cheese, mix them with glue and use it like shampoo!

What? / Ping-pong why am I saying ping-pong?

Ping-pong Ping-pong Ping-pong!

Whatever / whatever / whatever!

Ooh stick you / Your mama too / And your daddy

Ooh stick you / Your mama too / And your daddy

Ooh stick you / Your mama too / And your daddy

Ooh stick you / Ooh stick you!

Daphne & Celeste

Earlier this year, a teen duo called Daphne & Celeste had a top ten hit with a song called "Ooh Stick You". It made me want to shoot them. It was such an Outrage on so many levels that I almost don't know where to start. It was set to an infuriating plinky-plonky 'tune' that made Stock, Aitken & Waterman look like musical geniuses. Even worse, it stuck in your head once you'd heard it, like a bad smell you just can't scrape off your shoe. It had godawful lyrics that were nothing more than a string of Infant School playground insults shoe-horned together so that they almost rhymed (for the full horror, click here).

The idea behind it seems to be that they are slagging off anyone who doesn't conform to their idea of attractiveness. Ironically, Celeste is no oil painting and could do with losing a few pounds herself; Daphne just looks a little too polished to have never met a surgeon's knife, if you catch my drift. Oh yeah, and neither one of them could mime or dance in time to their backing tracks!!

When I first saw and heard them on MTV, I assumed the girls were about 13; I now know that they're 20. They really ought to start acting their age and stop inflicting this sort of nonsense on us. Before S-Club 7 beat the tar out of them...

(Do you know they've got another one out now? Click here for that little gem!)